I'm in a good place. Why? Because God's got me there. Every doubt that things are pointless, repetitive, mundane or without a purpose has to kneel itself down before the God who declares His plans are best for me. Some of us see God working, and some of us are caught in the extreme depths of what He is doing that we may not even begin to know where to look for His goodness. We know it's there, but we are waiting for breakthrough or something miraculous. But has that not already come? Are we missing the miraculous and many little breakthroughs that happen on a daily basis? I mean, they're there but our view can be so clouded by various things that pull our attention away from His glory, His goodness.
We don't all have those mountain top experiences like Moses did in Exodus. But I know for certain God does answer our prayers, and if we ask him to show us His glory like Moses did He will show us His goodness because His glory manifest in His goodness. "I will let My goodness pass before you...You cannot see my face, for no man can see Me and live!" If God were to reveal all of Himself to us at once it would be too much. And maybe that's why we don't always see or know what He's doing as He's doing it. Just like He put Moses in a dark place (the cleft of the rock covered by His hand) to protect Him from seeing His face I believe God allows us to be in dark places in order for us to get glimpses of His goodness. Never in my life have I been so thankful for darkness. Without His covering I would never see those little glimpses. For me lately its been those little moments where God whispers, "It's ok to cry. Come to me and talk to me about it. I want you. See my glory? It's in that last meal you ate. Taste it? Its in the rain feeding this dry and thirsty land. Feel it? There's that smile. See I'm right here. It's all in my goodness. Sense my grace?".
So many times I wrestle God. I wrestle wrestle wrestle but I always lose. Where's the benefit in that? Why do we fight God when we know He will always win. I hate my flesh. My flesh fights God constantly, and it almost always ends in more tears and more heartache. Is it because we think we know ourselves best? Is it because we think we are entitled to this or that? I battle my position. I battle where God has me in that moment. Am I making the right and wise decision? Should I pray for that person or should I just leave it in God's hands? Am I moving forward or am I hanging on? I doubt and worry constantly and it is a sin I have been battling with for some time now. I lack trust in God when I wrestle with Him. Jacob wrestled with (against) God and never stopped until he got what he wanted. But what did he want? Was it of the flesh or was it of the spirit? When we wrestle with God it should always be just that. "With" God. Not against God. When we are wrestling with God (not against God) we receive His goodness because we are moving forward and fighting alongside. When we are fighting against we miss out big time! When we wrestle against God we don't get what he planned for us. And what he planned for us is blessing. What Jacob wanted was blessing and that is exactly what he was aiming for in wrestling God. "I will not let you go until you bless me!" O how that has changed the way I will pray not just for myself but for the world. I will not let you go until you bless him/her, me! I laugh. Isn't that just the nature of Jacob? Always wanting more blessing and expecting it.
I look upon the old testament with new found gratitude. Not a God of harsh reality. Yes He is just. But a God of relentless forgiveness, grace, redemption, revelation and awe. All leading up to his full character and heart summed up in one being. His good gift...Immanuel. "Lo I Am with you even til the end of the age." His glory upon the face of His Son. This face that we CAN look upon and that is one with the Father and grants us access to Him. So glorious, so gentle, so good, and so tender.
Faith in the waiting, no matter how long I wait. I will not let Him go until He blesses me and the beauty is He already has. I'm in a good place. Why? Because God's got me there.
We don't all have those mountain top experiences like Moses did in Exodus. But I know for certain God does answer our prayers, and if we ask him to show us His glory like Moses did He will show us His goodness because His glory manifest in His goodness. "I will let My goodness pass before you...You cannot see my face, for no man can see Me and live!" If God were to reveal all of Himself to us at once it would be too much. And maybe that's why we don't always see or know what He's doing as He's doing it. Just like He put Moses in a dark place (the cleft of the rock covered by His hand) to protect Him from seeing His face I believe God allows us to be in dark places in order for us to get glimpses of His goodness. Never in my life have I been so thankful for darkness. Without His covering I would never see those little glimpses. For me lately its been those little moments where God whispers, "It's ok to cry. Come to me and talk to me about it. I want you. See my glory? It's in that last meal you ate. Taste it? Its in the rain feeding this dry and thirsty land. Feel it? There's that smile. See I'm right here. It's all in my goodness. Sense my grace?".
So many times I wrestle God. I wrestle wrestle wrestle but I always lose. Where's the benefit in that? Why do we fight God when we know He will always win. I hate my flesh. My flesh fights God constantly, and it almost always ends in more tears and more heartache. Is it because we think we know ourselves best? Is it because we think we are entitled to this or that? I battle my position. I battle where God has me in that moment. Am I making the right and wise decision? Should I pray for that person or should I just leave it in God's hands? Am I moving forward or am I hanging on? I doubt and worry constantly and it is a sin I have been battling with for some time now. I lack trust in God when I wrestle with Him. Jacob wrestled with (against) God and never stopped until he got what he wanted. But what did he want? Was it of the flesh or was it of the spirit? When we wrestle with God it should always be just that. "With" God. Not against God. When we are wrestling with God (not against God) we receive His goodness because we are moving forward and fighting alongside. When we are fighting against we miss out big time! When we wrestle against God we don't get what he planned for us. And what he planned for us is blessing. What Jacob wanted was blessing and that is exactly what he was aiming for in wrestling God. "I will not let you go until you bless me!" O how that has changed the way I will pray not just for myself but for the world. I will not let you go until you bless him/her, me! I laugh. Isn't that just the nature of Jacob? Always wanting more blessing and expecting it.
I look upon the old testament with new found gratitude. Not a God of harsh reality. Yes He is just. But a God of relentless forgiveness, grace, redemption, revelation and awe. All leading up to his full character and heart summed up in one being. His good gift...Immanuel. "Lo I Am with you even til the end of the age." His glory upon the face of His Son. This face that we CAN look upon and that is one with the Father and grants us access to Him. So glorious, so gentle, so good, and so tender.
Faith in the waiting, no matter how long I wait. I will not let Him go until He blesses me and the beauty is He already has. I'm in a good place. Why? Because God's got me there.
-To Hear Him Sing-
thoughts from my study on God is Good, and, One Thousand Gifts
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